I didnt drop off the face of the earth!

Although I would like to drop my computer off of one....we cannot figure out what is wrong with it. So until it gets fixed I will use the iPad to post when I can....Nate uses it at work so I can only do it when he is home and I tend to only want to hang with him when he's home and nothing else. Although march madness is coming up so I may be posting a lot except for the fact that I am holding out to read the hunger games till than!

So how is everybody? I hope well. I've had one hell of a month and just as I thought it was getting better I was wrong. Which got me thinking about tests and trials and the patterns they tend to have in my life. I don't have much to add to it cuz I'm still pondering it all, one thing I feel pretty sure about is that I'm suppose to be paying attention..there is something I need to learn. And just as I'm about to blame it on those who have despitefully used me...I get a little whisper to my heart..."this isn't about them...it's about you". My attention goes from blame and anger to pondering and listening. So that's what my status is at this moment in time..to just "be still". I wonder if these hardships weed out inconstancies and flaws that need to be taken care. It's interesting how god will protect you if you ask him to. When I asked I didn't think it would be in the way it has played out...I didn't think tears and pain would be involved in fact I thought that's what i was asking him to protect me from. But as I have quieted myself I'm starting to grasp that he sees the big picture..and not only that..he knows what is in my heart even more than I do and so he knows what he is protecting me from in my future...and even now. This all probably doesn't make much sense...but that's ok..it does to me. One thing is for sure...I am very grateful to have the teachings of jesus Christ...his way really does bring peace to my life. His way really does teach me to be happy even though opposition has been knocking down my door. I am also grateful for Nate. He has given me a strong arm to lean on and a broad shoulder to cry on. I am also grateful for my brother brad. He has helped me take a hard step that couldn't have come at a more crucial time for me..he has been himself and because of that it gives me courage to find my own self. Thank you. To all of you who get where Im At right now...remember that god always sends a ministry of angels living and not to guide you through to the peace you are searching for.



Disclaimer: if you read my blog and get offended..call me..let's talk. Other than that my blog is my blog..I write what is in my heart, I do not edit, I do not carefully write something to Get a point across or hint at something or someone. If you know me..you know Im a lover not a hater. If you feel bad after reading my feelings..please don't read it anymore, because that is not my intensions. Thank you.