tissue anyone...tissue?

I have got the worst head COLD EVER!! there's nothing like a great big cough attack right in the middle of sacrament meeting. Or can you imagine being this bride...I am curling her hair for her big day and between hair sprays I sneeze, cough, and hack a few up into a tissue...eeeew I know gross. man I have missed two days in a row this week from school and 2 night I was running a fever. I am sure my client thought I had early menopause with hot flashes, cause I was burnin up and sweatin because of it. anyhow the good news is that I am done House hunting!! (kinda) I actually found a home in north salt lake (new foxboro subdivision) that I absolutly loved, at the top of our price range, but I didn't want to leave the house, I loved it so much. Nate even liked it but said it was too much for the square footage. instead of getting mad, I gave up. told him "okay i'm done" I am not house hunting anymore. I am sick, I am drained and I just can't do this anymore. sooo the responsibilty lies soley on you now. he simply said "ok" and that was that. it has taken every ounce of me to not look on ksl or the mls. but it's been nice. My realitor gets married today so he has a couple weeks off. we'll see how well nate does without him or I looking. for those of you that don't know...we live in our inlaws home in West Valley. it's kinda been nice being back in the old "hood". lots of good memories. really wouldn't mind living in westvalley, but we haven't found what we are looking for. for every house i like I pull up a sex offender website that tells me how close and how many are in/or suroundin area....haven't had the best of luck in the good ol WVC, so we are trying Sandy now just really pricy. guess you pay for the address there. anyhow, I am going to post pictures of my kids and my photo shoots next time I promise. I am horrible at posting them cuz I have to be up at my sistas to do it. My computer won't. or I just don't know how. anyhow, I gotta go my nose is becoming a waterfall and it stings!!......eeeeww gross I know!
sniffling Dusti

Definetly not Inspired....

I am sooo done with House hunting. I just want to be done!! I don't even care anymore...a little shack off to the side of the road...SOLD!! I just want a home of our own. I want my kids to beable to be a regular 3 and 1 yr old and tear apart their own home. There's nothing like living with family and having your kids draw on the wall, poop on the floor, pee on the carpet, scream resentlessly at 3:20AM in the morning for an hour!! you name it, my kids have done it. which is part of growing up..and shouldn't be a big deal. instead they have to not only deal with 4 grown ups telling them no, they have to feel the constant anxiety of their parents day in and out over things that are just natural for toddlers to do. And not to mention things that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't usually say no to in our own home with our own rules!! I'm not ungrateful for all that our family has sacrificed for us these past 8 months. I'm just done. all those who have been in my situation know exactly what I am talking about. I am so excited to do just regular things in the privacy of my own home like: walking around in my underwear, eating icecream in the living room at 12 am in the morning with the tv on and high. screaming really loud at Nate when I want to. theres nothing like getting in a fight with your husband in fromt of the inlaws. it just doesn't happen, which is ok i guess, but a really good fight means making up...and theres not much of that going on with family upstairs and to both sides of your room that you share with both children!! It's amazing how you live different when others are observing. Oh and I will really enjoy skipping a sunday here and there without feeling like a teeanager again! all of you who think im crazy, I want you to keep track just today of habits, words, eating habits, movies you watch, clothes you wear, activities you do that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in front of in laws..or just plain anybody else other than your spouse and children. I am so blessed to have amazing In laws, cuz if they weren't I would be insane by now! We have the best Realtor EVER. he has been patiently working with us for a year now. he's helped us make 5 different offers in 5 different cities, and yet not ment to be. I know that heavenly Father is going to lead us to where we need to be. But in the mean time...AHHHH. I think what is....is and it will happen the way it should, I'm just venting.

Inspired

Inspiration...what a word. It doesn't quite explain the way I feel. However it is the closest way to describe what I felt during President Monsons talks today. I absolutly loved President Hinckley and every time he talked I would smile and sometimes cry. and of coarse I sustained him as a prophet and I believed that he was a true prophet. But I have never felt the feelings that I did today as our 16th President of the church spoke. his words peirced me to the very core of my soul and I know that President Monson is the only true prophet on this earth today. Hope is another word I am feeling. have you ever come away from a conference feeling like you can never "catch up" or do everything that is expected? I feel hope that flutters into simplicity. and I can do that. As he spoke of his ancesters and told the regular "monson stories" like he allways does, I felt something different. so much so that after I put the kids down for their naps I rewinded it back to his first talk of the day the end of the first session, I listened to that talk 3 times in a row and it's funny because at the end of the third one I'll admit I fell asleep, but in my sleep I was hearing the other talks spoken in the second session but in my dream it was the prophet speaking. I felt the spirit so strong as I cuddled in a gushy blanket on my couch in my sweats with a towel wrapped around my head. and as the tears flowed down my cheeks I thought "this is great" I can have the same feelings from heaven anywhere in this world..as long as I open my heart up to feel them and realize that I am his child and he will never forsake me..or in other words leave me alone. I am so happy right now, and its not because I have a big house(cuz i don't) and its not from just eating a huge amount of ice cream, or it's not even because I have things...its because I have been touched by something that is so familiar to my spirit that makes me feel like home. I wonder if thats why i get so depressed when i am not living up to the covenants I have made...it's not anything anti depressants or shopping sprees can take away or fix. its simply that I'm home sick. and when I am not doing whats right I don't feel the spirit that reminds me what home really feels like above. I am so thankful that I have a temple so close to me and that I can go and feel what my home is suppose to feel like. I went last saturday for the first time in two years. the jordan river temple. the temple I recieved my convenants in. as I walked through the doors the familar smell made me smile and I got warm fuzzies all inside. I allways like to look around and picture my own home looking and feeling the same. I know that this is the only place I can go and be truly safe and free from satans constant nagging. I want my home to be the same for my husband ans children. so first things first....got to get a home and second I need to clean better!!! hehehe. anyways, I love today and I just wanted to share. I hope you all were touched by our living prophets words today!! how blessed we are to live in a time where we can hear an actual prophet speak.


Love Dusti